First Prayers

I knew from the time I was a little girl that there is a God and I knew about Jesus. The way I thought about them then was that God was the boss and Jesus was the nice guy I could talk to. Yes, I could talk to Jesus but He didn’t talk to me. He just took care of things without giving me the details and that was fine with me.

As a teenager, I pretty much ignored them both.  Oh,  occasionally there was the rushed prayer request that I doubted would be answered the way I wanted and that made me angry. My prayers were all about me and I felt like I was just talking to myself.

Life went on and I knew something was missing. One morning while sitting in my living room depressed and lonely I prayed. A real prayer. It was sort of “Hey, God, it’s me and I am miserable and I don’t know what to do. All I do know is that what I am doing isn’t working so I am going to try your way, but I don’t what that way is or what to do. So, please help me.” There was no bolt of lightening or angel’s singing or a voice like in the movies with music in the background. The day just went on like any other day.

The thing is that was probably the first real prayer I ever uttered. It felt different…I felt different. I wasn’t instantaneously changed I was still sinking in my sin, but it seemed likedoor-1590024_640 maybe I wasn’t going to drown. Maybe I was going to get out of the muck and start walking. Walk where I didn’t know but it felt good to have some solid ground under my feet. I also didn’t know how long the walk would be or how rocky and sometimes slippery the path would be which is a good thing. My spiritual muscles were weak!

That morning in my living room was the beginning of my talking with Jesus and I haven’t stopped for forty years. We have a good and gracious God who hears the prayers of all who are afraid, lonely and lost. He not only hears, He talks in whatever language or vernacular needed to communicate with the one praying.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.
Ro 8:26

What was the first “real” prayer you remember praying?

Blessings this day of grace,
patricia

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Wait Quietly

I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him. He alone is my rock and salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken. (Ps 62:1-2)

How I want to say this is true of me! I know my victory comes from Him but I struggle with waiting. Outwardly I am quiet, I am a quiet person, but inwardly I scream and yell and rage. I know He is my rock and salvation and fortress, but I am not strong, I tremble and shake.

Lately, when I talk to Jesus and I tell Him of my weakness and my fears He tells me to be quiet and wait. But for how long? I have been waiting a long time for victory in this peace-of-mind-349815_640struggle. Why is the end of this not in sight? Why do the attacks continue? I am not given an answer to those questions. However, He does remind me that He will give me rest, to put on His yoke and to let Him teach me and I will find rest for my soul. (Matt 11:28-29).

If you are struggling with something that seems endless listen to what Jesus says. Be encouraged. He has promised to never leave or abandon us (Jos 1:5) Sometimes it seems that we are left alone in the wilderness of our sufferings but that is a lie that satan wants us to believe. The Spirit dwells within us and will guide us to the fortress of the Lord.

This is my prayer:

Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. Ps 62:5-6)

Blessings this day of grace,
patricia

Imperfectly Perfect

I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
            Wonderful are Your works,
            And my soul knows it very well.
Ps 139:14 nas

I have this verse on my refrigerator, front and center, where I can see it every day. I know that this is true.  I am fearfully and wonderfully made. God made me, He put all the parts and pieces together, complex and simple, creating a body to express my life outwardly and to hold His Spirit within. All His creation is wonderful. I know this. But sometimes I forget.

My body doesn’t always work the way it was created to.  It’s not God’s fault. I know this but sometimes I get mad at Him and I tell Him so. Then I am reminded of all the things my body does that I give no thought to, all the processes so complex and intricate that neverthe-wonders-of-mak-815283_640 fail. Why do I complain about one part of this amazing system? Why do I take for granted all minute details that keep my body functioning and alive? Because I forget what I know. I forget to be thankful in all circumstances. (1 Thes 5:18) I forget to keep my thoughts on Him, to trust Him, for that is where peace is found. (Isa 26:3)

I thank God for this imperfect perfect body. I am thankful that when I forget how blessed I am living with this wonderful work of His He reminds me that He knew me before I was born, that He thinks about me, and is always with me. (Ps 139:16-18)

Today I pray that I don’t forget.

Blessings this day of grace,
patricia

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