John Wesley wrote,
I am no longer my own, but Yours,
Put me to what You will.
Put me to doing, put me to suffering.
Let me be employed for You or laid aside for You,
Exulted for You, or brought low for You.
Let me be full, let me be empty.
Let me have all things, let me have nothing.
I freely and wholeheartedly yield all things to
to Your pleasure and disposal.
And now glorious and blessed God,
Father, Son and Holy Spirit,
You are mine and I am Yours. So be it.
And this covenant, now made on earth,
Let it be satisfied in Heaven.
I would like to say I have made this covenant mine. But I cannot. Oh, I can nod my head, and say amen, tell myself that I have come to the place of surrender. But then I come to the sixth sentence,
“I freely and wholeheartedly yield all things to Your pleasure and disposal.”
I get there and choke. I do not freely and wholeheartedly yield all things. Sadly, I have not arrived at that place on my journey. Yes, I want to be at that place but I am self-centered. I want to be at that place, yielding completely and without reservation, but I have a stubbornness about me that debates with God. It seems I think He should convince me of His plans and purposes. I give Him the pros and cons, the whys and why not’s, then wait for Him to answer me. If I don’t like the response–back to the debate.
We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God’s purpose prevails.
Proverbs 19:21 The Message
Of course, He always wins the debate, it is no contest. He humors me and reminds me,
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord,
plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11 ESV